Two herbs may look alike, but one can save people, while another can kill. The movie shows of how same hands of a person can both save and kill another life.
As a young boy, I used to make cynical remarks at others or make them look funny by pointing out mistakes. When my classmates made a mistake on drawings, I used to tease them about how it looked absurd. When my friends raised their opinions, I used to criticize them as harshly as I could. Especially during my middle school years, I learned debating earlier than other kids; and that made me more cynical and arrogant. To be frank, while doing so, I felt strong. Even though I was no better than my peers, they restrained from saying their opinions in front of me, and I liked how my friends followed what I insisted. For me at that time, it was my way or the high way.
However, there was one place that I could not enact in such wrongdoings. It was my home. My father was an extremely authoritarian man; and he used to make hurting comments directed to me in general. There were no exceptions within the family; everyone was subjected to his harsh remarks, and I was not the only one afraid of it.
Once I realized how my way of speaking was identical with my father’s, I started not to speak. I opened my lips only when it was necessary. Instead of speaking so much, I shut my mouth to every conversation that I was supposed to be in. I listened to what others said, followed to what others insisted. I almost always nodded to other’s opinions and followed whatever it was. A year passed. I thought I made much improvement from a person twelve months ago.
But I was wrong.
Instead of hurting others with my tongue, during the year, I had been hurting myself by not saying what I had to say. I became to have difficulties in having personal conversations with other people, or make frequent eye contacts whenever engaging in conversations. I have become a “docile body”, kind and obeying, yet dependent and juvenile.
From the moment I had my second acknowledgement, I started to speak again. Of course, I tried not to make harsh remarks or be cynical. I wanted neither others to be hurt as my friends were in past nor as I was in a more distant past. Although I still had hard time making eye contacts when talking or engaging in friendly, personal conversations, I begin to speak again, in a manner that ordinary people would.
It took me some time to realize the simple fact. Two kinds of similar herbs, but it make two distinct results on other lives. Two types of talking, two distinct influence on others. I wouldn’t be able to forget this for a long time, maybe until the last day of my life.
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